


Four Stages of Denial

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crossdressing, Jealousy, M/M, Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-28 19:06:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That awkward moment when you meet a hot chick at the bar and she turns out to be your male best friend in drag. That awkwarder moment when you realize that you still want him, his boyfriend be damned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Stages of Denial

The second stage of this play was a bar called Gears. The first one was my student apartment.

I was sitting there bored out of my mind on a Friday night, calling everyone in my phonebook and getting rejected by each and every one of my so-called friends. I guess I have never really been a sociable person, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise, but it was frustrating non-the-less. Normally, I haven’t had to worry about being alone on Fridays, because I’ve always had Armin or Mikasa to hang out with. Mikasa is my overbearing foster-sister, and Armin is my best friend and roommate, so they have always been more or less obligated to hang out with me. Then Mikasa went and applied for a university up in nowhere and had to move, but Armin and I moved into this student apartment a bit over a year ago, so I still used to have him to hang out with. He’s always had an even harder time than I fitting in, even though he has way more social skills, so it used to be very common for the two of us to be alone on every night of the week to watch movies or go out to the bar together. When we hung out with other people, they would usually agree only because he was there. I guess that was why everyone rejected me when I called on my own.

That’s how it used to be, like I said. But three months ago, Armin started dating a guy called Reiner, and ever since, he has started to stay over at his place more and more. Even in the middle of the week, Armin will go straight to Reiner after his classes are over, and I get lucky if he texts me beforehand.

This play took place on one of those nights, a Friday, when Armin had texted me. He had written that he was going to stay over at Reiner’s for the weekend, with his cell phone turned off. In other words, they were gonna fuck like rabbits, and didn’t want me to call him with my neediness. I can read between the lines like that.

I had tried calling Connie, and old classmate party animal, but he had said he was going clubbing and I don’t really like clubs and he didn’t invite me to come with either way. Then I had called Annie, a girl who goes to the same gym as me, but she was out of town and only gave me vague reasons as to why, so that was a dud. I had long contemplated calling my arch enemy, an asshole named Jean who is actually easier to get along with when we’ve both had something to drink, but my pride got in the way so I called his friend Marco instead, and it turned out they were both staying in playing a co-op videogame, so they were out of the question. Finally I had called Ymir, whom I only barely have any real contact with, and she replied with “who are you and how did you get my number?”

That’s why I was alone and bored in my student’s apartment on a Friday night, and that was why I grabbed my coat and headed out to a bar someone had recommended to me about week ago. When I and Armin go out for drinks it’s usually more local to our home building, or the university we study at, but going alone to a place like that wasn’t something I was looking forward to. Going to a new place, maybe meeting someone new, seemed like a better idea at the time, so I got on my motorcycle (I am a pretty good drunk driver) and drove off, around ten in the evening.

It was an early autumn night, but it was already ink black outside, so I stuck to the main road. The bar was located closer to the industrial area where Reiner works and lives, which lies just about twenty minutes away going at 115 km per hour on the highroad. Still, it was in the opposite direction of the city, so I wasn’t likely to meet with any of my classmates.

When I got into the bar, entering stage two, I wasn’t exactly looking for anything in particular. I don’t really do that whole pick up girls thing, and I’ve never had anything more than casual sex with a girl I knew a few years back, and a few flings with girls I take classes with. Never anything serious, and never because I have gone looking for it; my sex life has always been more of a coincidence, and not something I have initiated. Mostly because I only get going when I have to get competitive, and that’s never organic.

Overall, I’d say that I was looking for companionship that night. There was an appealing pool table, a dart board, and many men and fewer women who inhabited the bar when I entered. The atmosphere was very open, and though most of the people were older, there were a few men and women my own age, in their early twenties. I decided to have something to drink before I approached the guys who were playing pool, so I leaned over the counter to order, but an older woman interrupted and told me she’d buy me anything I wanted. For someone nearing her forties, she looked all right, I guess, but I declined. She shrugged her shoulders, said that it was my loss, and left me to myself after that.

Maybe she had only been interested because I am young, but it felt good, I guess, to have the attention. The mostly older men in the bar, and the young guys who worked with them in the industries, were less attractive, probably. I don’t check out guys, but from what I know by Armin’s standards, I was easily the best looking guy at the bar. Already, I started to feel pretty good about myself.

I ordered a strong beer, and as I was on my way of drinking the second one, two smiling women pushed their friend towards me. Nervously, she sat down on the barstool next to where I was leaning, and introduced herself to me. I have forgotten her name, and her face, really, but she was pretty nice. Said she lived close by but worked in the city as a store clerk, or something. Said she thought I looked good. Stuff like that. I was actually getting pretty interested in her, and was on my way to offer to buy her something, when the door opened and another girl walked in, stealing the show.

This girl was gorgeous, no joke, no questions asked. Everyone in the bar, men and women alike, knew it at once. She was on the short side, but she was wearing yellow pumps which made her legs appear longer. To the pumps she was wearing black see-through stockings ending at her thighs, with black ribbons to keep them stay up. Her dress was my favourite colour, yellow, and was puffy, with a black belt circled her waist, giving her a really sexy, feminine figure. The skirt part ended just to cover her ass, and when she removed her black coat she revealed long, milky arms with black silk ribbon bracelets. And that’s just to describe her body.

The girl’s face was round, with a button nose. Her lips were pink and glossy, and her blue eyes were absolutely alluring, half-opened, with heavy mascara and eyeliner to accentuate their magic. She was a natural blonde, and had bangs, the rest of her hair kept back by a black silk ribbon.

She had a girly sort of fashion sense, but the heavy makeup and shortness of the skirt made it easy to see past the façade. Truth be told, I thought she looked a bit like Armin; similar noses and eyes; but despite that whole weirdness, it was impossible not to be attracted to her.

The woman who had been speaking to me muttered something under her breath, but I couldn’t really hear her. I realized that there were many men who would want to hit on the new girl, so I left to approach her first of all, something, if you recall, I haven’t actually done before.

The girl sat down by the edge of the bar, and since I acted first, I managed to grab the seat next to her. I think the other men, who looked at me enviously, admitted defeat just like that.

“Hey,” I said. I don’t flirt, ever, and I had no intention of just picking her up. There was just something about her which pulled me in, so I thought that if she wasn’t absolutely dumb or annoying, maybe I would get a friend that night.

The girl looked at me with a startled expression, wide, deep eyes, and started to blush. I wondered why she was dressed like that if she got so flustered by a man’s presence.

“I’m Eren,” I presented myself to her, holding out my hand. Her fingers were weak, as she shook my hand.

“Irma,” she presented herself. Her voice was gentle, quiet, but very sensual. I started to think that maybe just becoming her friend would be stupid.

“What brings you here?” I asked, since it was pretty much the most logical question I could think of.

Irma looked to the side. “I’m just looking for company,” she said, coyly. And while it was her face which was getting all of her blood, my own blood rushed down to my crotch. Damn.

“Me too,” I said, which was true, even though what we had meant by company – at least initially – was different.

“You work here?” she asked me.

“No, I study at the university in next town,” I replied. “It’s pretty close… and you?”

“I am from the city,” she said.

“Then why are you here? All alone, on top of that.”

“I guess… to try something new,” she said, vaguely, again avoiding my eyes. Her cheeks were still red, and looked smooth to the touch, same as her exposed neck.  I wanted, very much, to lean over and lick it.

 I have self-control. Sometimes. Usually when I am with Armin. But at this time, I had none, and I had been drinking, so I leaned closer to her and kissed the neck she presented to me.

She gasped, and leaned away from me.

“Eren, what are you…-“

The gentle way she said my name was an even greater turn on.

“My roommate is out, and won’t be back until Sunday,” I told her. “Come home with me.”

Her face was redder than her lips.

“Aren’t you a bit too forward?” she asked me, while I placed a hand on her exposed thigh. “I’m…”

Interrupted. Because somehow, the door had opened and let in a big guy, who approached us hastily, and said “Eren?!” upon noticing me.

It was no one else but my best friend and roommate’s boyfriend, Reiner Braun.

“Reiner,” I responded in confusion. “What are you doing here? Is Armin coming here too?”

Irma sighed.  She gave me a captivating side-long glance, and I was starting to realize something, but she stated it before I could understand it myself.

“Eren, it’s me.” She still looked like Irma. But she talked like Armin. And I stared down at my hand on the way up her- _his_ skirt and found that I didn’t quite want to remove it.

Reiner stood behind him with his arms folded over his chest, giving me a stern look.  I took it as a challenge, and I guess I was feeling a bit playful. For some odd reason, I hadn’t gotten less aroused even by knowing Irma was a guy – that Irma was _Armin_ – so I decided to challenge him back.  I stroked my hand further up Armin’s thigh, and placed my other hand on his cheek, making him look my way.

“Eren, what are you doing?” Armin asked. I caressed his lips as his mouth was opened, until Reiner suddenly intervened, grabbing hold of his boyfriend and holding him in a bridal carry.

“Reiner, put me down,” Armin protested, but Reiner hugged him close, glaring at me. We were making quite a scene, but at the time, I think Armin was the only one to take notice.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked Reiner. “Are you really cheating on my best friend with some random girl?”

Reiner blinked, but I saw that Armin understood that I was jesting.

“What are… Eren, how could say that? I would never cheat.”

“Then put Irma down,” I told him mockingly. “I am planning on taking her home with me, and she didn’t seem to mind that idea.”

“Eren!” Armin flushed. She- er, he, buried his face in Reiner’s chest. “Let’s take it outside, everyone’s staring,” I heard him whisper. Reiner turned around to carry him out, and I hurried to pay for my drinks before following them.

Outside of the bar, by the parking lot, he put Armin down. I was surprised that Armin, who usually is very ungraceful (and that’s putting it lightly) could stand in shoes like that.

So there we were, my best friend dressed as a very attractive girl, with his boyfriend angrily looking at me.

“Look, I didn’t know you were planning… whatever you were planning,” I told them both. “But Armin… damn.”

Armin looked like he was about to die, and I have never seen him so flustered before.  Apparently, he wasn’t the most comfortable about this idea.

“Yes, Eren, Armin is very sexy,” Reiner said. “No matter what clothes he’s in.” His large hand was on Armin’s waist, and I realized that I didn’t like it there. I have seen them be intimate before, and I haven’t cared at all, but that was before I started to feel so attracted to Armin. He shouldn’t be allowed to look so hot in some make up and women’s clothing, but there he was.

Armin has always been on the feminine side. Not only has he never been able to gain any muscle, but he has always had a small figure; narrow hips, slim shoulders, and of course, a very short stature. And him having had long hair for most of his life hasn’t exactly made anyone think otherwise.

But he has always been fine with it. He hasn’t exactly been mistaken for a girl, but he has been called really foul names. Still, he has stayed true to who he is, and even though he used to be incredibly insecure when we were younger and it was worse, he has never stopped being, you know, feminine. He’s also never been afraid to show his affections in public, whether it be by leaning against me or kissing Reiner.

So I wondered why it was so different when he was put in a skirt. Why was he flustered and blushing and shy? Especially around me.

“A-anyway,” Armin said, grabbing Reiner’s arm. “We can go to another bar, can’t we?” he asked Reiner, looking up at him with those absolutely beautiful eyes of his. How was it that we had known each other for fourteen years, and I had never noticed them before? I had seen them sparkle, and I had liked them, but I had never become this spellbound. Was it really the power of mascara? That just sounded stupid as hell.

“Wait,” I told them, just as they thought to leave. Armin stopped, but Reiner only looked annoyed. “Armin… do you remember when we were sixteen?”

One of the best things about Armin is his memory, so I knew that he did. When we were sixteen, and virgins, I said something like: “I wonder what sex with a dude is like”, and Armin said: “We could try doing it with each other? I wouldn’t mind.” And I had chuckled awkwardly or something, even though he never makes jokes, so I had known he had been serious. “If I ever want to, I’ll let you know,” I had replied a bit tactlessly. And there I was, on stage three, the parking lot, mentioning it again.

“I really want to,” I said, and it took me a while to realize that it was actually Armin I had said it to.

I have a tendency to speak my mind without thinking, and this was one of those times. No matter how hot he looked in that dress, he was still Armin for crying out loud! My best friend who used to sob into my arms and leave tears stain and snot all over my shirt until we were thirteen, who would smack my hands with the toy ladle when I wanted to eat the play-dough, and chide me for being childish when we were eight. That same weeping overly-serious boy.

Of course, looking at him in makeup and pumps easily distracted from those memories, but I had still essentially told my male best friend that I wanted to fuck him, and that should feel so much more wrong than it did.

Was it only his outfit? And that sexy Irma-act he’d played in the bar?

While uncomfortably shifting, Armin told me, very patiently: “Eren, I have a boyfriend. I wouldn’t cheat on Reiner.” And I should probably care more than I did, that that was his only objection.

“Wait a minute.” Reiner looked from Armin to me, and then back again. “Armin… Since Bertolt said no…”

His words said nothing to me, but they were enough to make Armin blush. “Really? I thought… I thought you said Eren-“

“I wouldn’t mind showing you off,” Reiner smirked. “So?”

“I… well, I suppose, but…”

Reiner looked at me with an obnoxious, but charming grin. “If you want to fuck Armin, I get to watch.”

No way in hell, was my initial reaction. Thankfully, my mind only registered: “Huh?”

“We’ve talked about it,” Reiner said, his hand squeezing Armin’s shoulder. “I want to see him fucked by another guy. And we asked Bertolt, but he said no, and if you really are interested… it might as well be you.”

Bertolt is Reiner’s tall, freaky, sweaty friend, and I was kind of put off that they had considered him first. Then again, Bertolt was at least bisexual, and I had never been attracted to a guy before, so it was pretty logical. Still, though I felt like I should have been asked, or at least considered, before things went this way.

I looked at Armin, who was suspiciously looking anywhere but at the two of us.

“Armin, are you okay with this?” I asked him. If I found out Reiner was forcing some kinky shit on him that he didn’t want, I would beat him up, for sure. Reiner might be a giant, but I am a good fighter. I could take him.

“Well, I… Yes,” Armin decided. And I really did want to fuck him, even with a pervert watching, so I took his word for it. Besides, we are tighter than real family, and he knows that he can always be honest with me. If he didn’t want to, he would have spoken up, so even though his answer was shaky… I knew it was honest.

“Then I’m in,” I announced.  

Reiner lives close by, so we walked the rest of the way. Armin’s heels echoed as he walked between us, and they almost made him as tall as me. I kept glancing at him, but his eyes were only facing forward. I knew that he was deep into his calculations, and the idea that he was contemplating how it would feel to have sex with me made me pretty excited.

Admittedly, it was weird to think about the fact that he had a cock under that short skirt, but truth to be told, I would probably be better at handling another penis than trying to stimulate a girl. And doing it anally wasn’t too different than fucking a pussy, so I didn’t foresee any problems.

“Armin,” Reiner said, when we reached his apartment complex. “Since you’re already dressed for it, maybe the roleplay should continue?”

Armin nodded, and before I understood what they meant, he had wrapped his arms around my left one, clinging to me.

“Say, Eren,” he said with the Irma-voice, sending my cock completely wrong messages. “This is where I live… would you like to come upstairs?”

I took offense to that, of course. “Armin, you don’t _live_ here.”

Innocently, Armin cocked his head to the side. “Who’s Armin?”

Everyone but me used to think that Armin was this quiet, withdrawn nerd boy.  All throughout grade and high school, that was what everyone expected when they saw him, with his dorky hair and refusal to not have a book in his hands. Sure, he always raised his hand and always answered questions in front of the class, but his very type seemed to imply to the morons we went to school with that he was some shy person.

When it was time for presentations, everyone was usually stunned by Armin’s really good and charismatic speeches, but they still retained that he was this stereotypical nerd, which he isn’t. And then came 10th grade, and the school we went to offered drama classes. Armin decided to apply, and I came with him to the school theatre for moral support and to kill time once.

Let’s just say, it was the first time I was surprised as well, even though I knew that he wasn’t a silent guy to begin with. Because Armin is not only charismatic as hell when it comes to speaking, he is also a damn good actor, able to give performances both subtle and extreme. So this Irma ploy he pulled on me at stage four, the apartment, shouldn’t have caught me by surprise. Yet it did.

I was slow in catching on, but at that question, I tried to recover. “Armin is, he’s my roommate, sorry. You look a bit alike.”

Armin pouted in very childish way I should not like as much as I did. “Are you saying I look like a man?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Armin’s not exactly manly.” I have no idea why the second part of this line slipped out of me. “And he’s beautiful, so that’s a compliment.”

I hope that Armin’s blush was genuine, when he muttered “O-oh,” just as Reiner clapped his hands together, the way he usually did when he demanded attention.

“Let’s go already,” he insisted, and started leading the way. It wasn’t completely unlikely that my assumption that he regretted the entire thing was correct, when Armin clung to my arm like so.

The apartment itself where Reiner lives is much larger than mine and Armin’s shared one, so I gained some understanding as to why Armin likes it there. I had only visited once before, briefly, but it seemed like they had refurnished recently. Everything was white, in that modern, minimalistic snorefest way, but I spotted Armin’s school books spread over the coffee table in the living room.

Traces of Armin were easy to spot all over the place for a guy like me, who’s known him for so long. The interior design itself was all on Reiner, because Armin doesn’t even care about mismatching pillows or pink floral patterns on his computer chair, so long as something is functioning.

Armin looks like a guy who is neat and clean, but the truth of the matter is that he’s just a very disorderly organized guy with a photographic memory, and not at all someone who immediately takes his coffee mug to wash it. He’s the sort of guy who just puts something down when it’s finished, and Reiner’s apartment sure gave off the same signals.

We didn’t waste much time in the hallway before Reiner marched ahead of us towards the bedroom. Armin smiled brightly at me when I had untied my shoe laces – having taken his own pumps off – and grabbed my hand, pulling me along. As he turned, his skirt twirled and I spotted a pair of black lace panties. _Had he seriously been walking around outside like that?_ is what the concerned friend in me thought. But I was already so turned on that my mind mostly registered it as _hot damn_.

The bedroom was spacy with a king’s bed and a drawer filled with whips and dildos and whatever else I didn’t have the time to see as Armin yelped and closed it. He glared at Reiner, who just sheepishly smirked back, but it wasn’t like it had been a surprise.

Like best friends do, I have spoken to Armin about sex before. We usually haven’t gotten into details, due to the fact that we (at least thus far) have been interested in different things. And it’s not like we’re some insecure assholes who brag about how much pussy or dick we’re getting (unlike a certain horse-face I know). But we have talked about stuff like “Oh, I slept with that girl yesterday” or “Reiner is really into BDSM and I think I’m getting into it too.”

Was this BDSM? Or was roleplaying a different kink I didn’t know anything about? I’d have to ask Armin later to make sure.

“Well,” said Reiner, after he leaned over both of our heads to pull the door close. “I’ll just get comfortable over there,” he pointed at an armchair placed conveniently close to the bed, “and you make sure you give me a good view. Right babe?”

“The best,” Armin promised him. “Want me to make you comfortable first?”

Regardless of what they meant by comfortable, I wanted Reiner desperately to say-

“Sure.”

-not that.

Armin left my side to start opening Reiner’s belt, and for the first time that evening did I realize that I was going to have to see Reiner naked. Like I said, I am not an insecure guy, so it shouldn’t really bother me, but the thing is, Reiner is ripped as hell and my own six pack doesn’t really cut it in comparison.

As Armin started to open his pants, Reiner pulled his shirt over his head, showing me that chiselled chest and upper body you only see on television. I go to the gym almost daily, but I have never seen the same sort of perfect muscle structure on anyone as what Reiner’s got going on.

It was not made better by the fact that Armin ran his hand over Reiner’s abdomen adoringly.

And then he pulled down Reiner’s pants and I hoped that I would find out his one short coming but nope, the guy was hung like a horse.

Would Armin even feel my cock, if he was used to something like that? Seeing him stroke it so familiarly did not help.

Reiner moved away though, and I couldn’t help but admire the guy’s self-restraint just a bit, and sat down in all of his naked glory on the armchair. Stupidly, Armin’s eyes were glued to him for a while, before he turned to me with his Irma-smile.

“Well then, Eren,” he said, putting his arms around my neck. Though he is a good actor, like I said, he seemed a bit nervous.

For me, it was easier to think of him as someone else. It was easy to think that I had just stumbled across a really sexy woman who wanted to screw, and whose looks distracted from the fact that there was a huge muscular naked guy who was going to be watching. But for Armin, I looked just like me, his best friend since we were six years old. He could still look at me and remember me eating mud cakes and picking up spiders to freak him out.

I stopped thinking about him as Armin, when he leant forward and kissed me. We had kissed once when we were thirteen and decided to practice with each other, but from back then, I only remember a probing tongue and chapped lips since it was in the middle of winter. Since then, his technique has improved.

My eyes were closed when I tasted his lip-gloss. His lips are soft, but normally very colourless, and barely noticeable. With this, they were alluring, and great to feel against my own. He had his arms linked around my neck, so I placed mine on his waist, feeling the soft satin of his dress. Our bodies were pressed against each other like that, hot, and ready.

I let my hands move down, and he took a step to the side, pulling me along. Only when I opened my eyes in confusion, and saw that Reiner was now seated with a great view of Armin’s back, did I understand why.

Quickly, I closed my eyes, having no intent to look at him. I deepened our slow kiss and Armin gave in, as my hands travelled down his lower back and found his ass. Save for the panty-shot, I haven’t been staring at Armin’s ass all that much over the years. As I squeezed it through the skirt, I realized what I have been missing.

It’s a firm, but very round ass, a perfect fit for my hands. He moaned when I fondled him, and I have never imagined my awkward looking best friend making such erotic sounds. Excited, I squeezed harder, and broke the kiss so I could hear his voice. He was moaning into my ear and I leant down my head, burying it in the crook of his neck. He was wearing just a bit of perfume, a sweet aroma, but it was tasteless as I kissed his skin.

“R-raise my skirt,” Armin whispered breathlessly into my ear. I was happy to oblige, pulling up the dress and feeling those lase panties and the smooth skin they covered.

But it was for someone else’s benefit. I realized that when I foolishly opened my eyes again, and saw Reiner appreciatively looking at the ass I was grabbing. These were the terms I had agreed to in order to get this far with Armin, and damn did that piss me off.

I promptly turned our bodies towards the bed and pushed Armin down, watching him fall and land flat on his back, sprawled out before me. Still in see-through stockings , his legs appeared so very long there for a moment. I settled on the bed between them and brought his left leg up – the side facing Reiner, and kissed the inside of his thigh. Armin whimpered.

Crawling up on the bed, I covered his body with my own. Even though I don’t have the same body type as Reiner, I am not exactly small, and Armin is much tinier anyway.

As I straddled him, I took off my shirt, and watched his bright blue eyes appreciatively look me up and down. He brought up his right hand and stroked my abs, almost carefully, and his touch of my bare skin, especially while looking at me like that, sent even more blood rushing straight to my cock.

“Armin,” I breathed, leaning down for a kiss. A finger to my lips stopped me.

“Why are you thinking about your roommate,” Armin asked me, his intelligent eyes locked into mine, searching for something. “When you’re in bed with me?”

I wasn’t really in the mood for anymore playing, though. And I sure as hell wouldn’t moan for some random chick named “Irma”, when it was _him_ that I wanted.

“Because I’m not stupid,” I said, reaching down my hand between his legs. Through the fabric of the dress, I grabbed his cock, feeling excited when I realized that he was even harder than me. “And I know that my best friend’s a liar.”

Armin bucked his hips up into my hand, as he groaned out; “That’s cruel.” But it was only the truth.

Until I felt him in my hand, I had been weirded out at the aspect of touching another guy’s junk. But watching Armin’s face as I palmed him through his dress, and feeling his body tremble under mine, made all those doubts disappear. I even liked it, so I wrapped the dress around him, his cock probably peeking up from under the lace, and started to jerk him off.

“E-Eren,” he moaned, his voice coaxing my cock into a full erection. I let go of him just so I could open my own pants, and I had to get off him just to pull them off. Fucking skinny jeans.

He pulled himself up to sit half-right, looking at me with lustful eyes. Having known each other for so long, he’s seen me naked after showers more than once, but we have been good with privacy. Never once having caught each other masturbating, he had never seen me like _that_ before.

At least there was no disappointment, when he took me in. His eyes were stuck on my cock, and he licked his lips appreciatively.

“Eren,” he called again, holding out his hand and leading me back onto the bed.

Years ago, I used to think that Armin would be a very subdued lover. Nothing against him, but I just thought that as far as sex was concerned, my best friend would just lie there and be completely uninterested. Maybe it was just denial or something like that, but I had never imagined him to be so… _eager_.

Armin positioned me on the middle of the bed, where I stood on my knees. He dragged his fingers down my body, and it was easier this time to focus on him, rather than the fact that he had of course made sure that I, and Armin’s ass, faced Reiner.

Armin stuck his ass in the air and bent down his head, looking up at me from next to my cock. Wordlessly, as soon as we had established eye contact, he put his lips over the base, and sucked wetly. I had to grab onto his shoulders to stay upright, and he moved his head even further down, taking my balls into his mouth, sucking on them one by one.

I was moaning, shameless to the fact that we had someone observing our every move. Armin’s soft lips and the wetness of his mouth felt amazing, and I wanted him to know how wonderful it was.

He licked at the underside of my cock, from my balls to its tip, and took it into his mouth, tentatively sucking. If he kept it up for much longer, I would probably end up coming right then and there. He took more of me into his mouth, and I was starting to get dizzy, grabbing his shoulders harshly as he slipped more and more of me into his open mouth. His tongue gently caressed it along the way, and he started sucking as he withdrew, before repeating the action of taking more of me inside.

His eyes were open the entire time, looking up at me. I couldn’t read his expression, but it looked like curiosity, though there was something extremely devious about the way he leered.

Having Armin’s full attention directed at me, and feeling and seeing him move his head up and down my cock, was starting to become overwhelming. I thrust my hips forward involuntarily, getting close to my edge.

Armin took me out of his mouth, his saliva a string connecting us still, and gave me an oddly gentle smile.

“Do you want to fuck me?” he asked. It was the same voice which he had used the other day, when asking: “ _Do you want me to brew an extra cup of coffee_?”

The nonchalance to all of this made me realize how fucked up it was, sitting there on the bed in Reiner’s apartment, hard and near orgasm due to Armin of all people, still wearing that dress, his hair only slightly disarrayed by the ribbon remaining.  It should be so much more bizarre and unthinkable than it was.

For Armin is my best friend and the only person’s whose company I have never turned down. And he is drop dead sexy.

“Yeah, I do,” I rasped out unthinkingly. The idea sounded terrific, and my hands still on his shoulder made it easy for me to overpower him and push him onto his back.

Without hearing a protest, I smashed our lips together and kissed him, tasting myself on his tongue. I grinded my crotch against the fabric of his dress, and rubbed against his fully hard cock. He threw his head to the side and moaned, so I rubbed against him again.

Stretching his arm out towards the drawer on the bedside table, I caught on quickly, but before I could reach over to it, Reiner had moved. He opened the drawer and held out a bottle of lube and a condom for me, though he wouldn’t meet my eyes, his focus solely on Armin.

Begrudgingly, I accepted, but I wasn’t sober from the lust enough to think too hard on it. Back with Armin, we kissed again, and I thought about how I wanted to do this more often. Then he started to move, turning around to lie on his stomach, lifting his ass up to rub against my erection.

Of course he was going to look at Reiner. This was about _them_. Well, not to me. I might not have been as large as Reiner, but I was driven, and I have always been called stubborn. I was going to fuck Armin so hard, he’d never want another cock inside of him again.

I lifted Armin’s skirt and stared at the perky ass I had fondled earlier. The lace panties adorned it sexily, but I liked the view even better when I pulled them to his knees. It was my first time doing it anally, but I had the basics of it down, so I opened the lube and coated two fingers in it. It was much too cold for the situation, but I pushed my fingers inside of Armin nevertheless.

Armin groaned, pushing his ass back against my hand. Impatiently, I started to scissor him, wishing I didn’t have to do this at all. I wanted nothing more than to just thrust inside of him and fuck him into oblivion, and I couldn’t help but feel like the lube was unnecessary.

I withdrew my fingers before long, and decided that he was ready. His head was turned to look at me one last time, as I rolled down the condom over my cock. He wet his lips, and said my name one more time, with his soft, lascivious voice. I couldn’t hold back, after that.

Thrusting inside of Armin, I grunted, holding his hips still with all of my strength. The lube was not as helpful as it should have been, so I had to apply much force, making Armin cry out. For a second, I expected Reiner to intervene due to me being too rough, but nothing happened, so I could adjust my position a bit, when I was already inside.

Armin was hot and tight around me, tighter than I had expected after seeing Reiner. His hole clenched around my cock, and when I didn’t move, he wiggled around, almost whining.

“Eren,” he called, his voice breathless and thick with lust. “Move, please!”

I didn’t think he would actually beg, and he didn’t have to do it twice. I pulled out, and thrust back in, and this time it went even smoother. Armin tried moving his hips to match my thrusts, when I set a pace, a futile attempt when I got too into it. I moved quicker and quicker, the easier I slid in and out, and Armin’s encouraging moans helped spur me into faster action.

He was loud when I hit his prostate, moaning as his entire body shook. His ass twitched around me every time I thrust inside after that, and I felt my own body going numb, moving automatically. The pace became more frantic the more he clenched around me, the friction becoming unbearable. My pleasure was building, and I knew that I would lose it any time now, but I wanted to come when Armin was looking at no one but _me_.

I pulled out entirely and flipped him to his back before he could protest, and thrust back into him with as much force as I could muster.

“Eren!” he cried out, and it sounded so authentic that it sounded like a slip up of the best possible kind. With him on his back, his legs pulled up over my shoulders, I could see his red flushed cheeks and the sweat pearling on his skin. As I fucked him into the mattress, the ribbon in his hair fell off.

He grabbed at the sheets around him, twisting them as he gasped with pleasure, even though his cock was neglected between us. I wanted to help him out, but I was too caught up with the fucking. And it didn’t seem to matter anyway; his cock was poking up from under his dress, leaking precum all over the yellow satin already.

Seeing him lose himself with me was what finally set me off. I came harder than I have any recollection of doing, moaning as I climaxed inside of him. The he stroked himself just three times under the skirt until he threw his head back and gasped, coming on his own accord.

I slipped out of him and pulled off the condom, tying it by habit. Armin’s legs dropped to the side, as he laid still, panting and trying to catch his breath.  We were both still for a while, just trying to recover from it.

My desire to lean down and kiss him was powerful, but when I tried, all of a sudden, Reiner had moved from his armchair. He sat down on the bed with his legs over the edge, right next to Armin.

Although exhausted, Armin pulled himself up to lean against Reiner’s side, sitting next to him. Their bodies blocked the view, but I saw Armin’s arm moving, jerking off Reiner no doubt. I felt and urge to kick Reiner’s ass for that alone; Armin was tired, couldn’t he jerk himself off? He had large enough hands for it.

I sat still as the couple did their deed, and hated the fact that this was how it was going to continue to be. Armin and Reiner together, and me, the charity case for a one night stand.

“You tired easily,” I heard Reiner say, teasingly.

“Mm,” Armin mumbled. “Was more intense than I imagined.”

Reiner’s arm was around Armin, and I felt horribly out of place, watching this intimate scene. Then Reiner looked at me over his shoulder.

“Eren, you can sleep on the sofa if you want,” he offered. “The one in the living room,” he clarified, as there was another sofa in the bedroom.

Armin looked back at me as well, but I still couldn’t make sense of his expression.

I moved away from the bed, finding my clothes lying on the floor, and started redressing.

“No thanks, I’ll drive home, got my ride parked by that bar,” I told them.

“Eren,” Armin called when I pulled on my shirt, my back to the both of them. “You’re not…  I just hope you don’t feel like we took advantage of you.”

I paused and thought about it. Something like that, was certainly how it felt. I knew it was ridiculous, because I had agreed to it, and out of all of us, I had the least to complain about.

Yet, I came out of it empty handed. Having sex with Armin had only made me realize things about myself, unchangeable things which were now only a liability. Knowing this was a onetime thing, and that Armin had only agreed to it at Reiner’s suggestion and after getting his approval…

He had sounded like he meant it, when he moaned my name. But he also still looked like a girl, and I had no idea if it had all been deceit.

“No, it’s cool,” I assured them. “Uh, thanks, I guess.”

Reiner smirked. “Thanks for the show,” he told me. I had to bite back the comment “ _I didn’t do it for you_ ” to not make it awkward, but I was sourly tempted to say it.

“I didn’t do it for you,” I said acidly, because I lack self-control at the worst of times.

But Armin has an amazing talent at cleaning up my messes with words.

“I think we realized that,” he said gently, and I looked back to see his hand close over Reiner’s. “I’m flattered you like my dress so much, Eren.”

“Yeah…” I tried to chuckle, and hoped that it was convincing enough. “It was a bit awkward though, but… uh, you’re lucky, Reiner.”

Reiner stared at me blankly. “I know.”

We said our good byes after that, with me ducking out from the room. Exiting stage four, the apartment, I backtracked to the parking lot where my motorcycle was still parked. Just driving was a good way to clear a messed up mind, so I took it for an extra spin around the neighbourhood before driving onto the highway.

When we were seven, Armin and I used to have a lot of sleepovers. We would build blanket fortresses and tell stories we came up with on the spot, mostly of the scary kind. Kids are usually pretty dumb, and I know that I sure as hell was, but we had one profound conversation during one of these sleepovers I have always remembered.

It had been a discussion of fear. Since Armin has always been the smart one, he had prompted it, asking me why I always told him such scary stories, and why they always had to be about ghosts and giants and monsters. I had said something bratty like “cause it’s fun” and he had said “but don’t you think there’s something scarier?”

So we had discussed that, in kid-like, simplistic ways. What did we find truly scary? Eventually, we had come to a conclusion which fit both of us; dying alone, and by consequence; being separated.

Reiner isn’t a bad guy, I know. We were actually on the good way of becoming friends before I went ahead and introduced him to Armin. But he has no place with me and my best friend, and that is something I will never change my view on.

Maybe it had all been lip service, but Armin had moaned my name, and his only protest against the idea of us having sex was that fact that he wouldn’t cheat on Reiner. It may be that my mind was just being optimistic, but when I had backtracked to stage one, the student apartment, I thought that it wasn’t too far-fetched. Maybe Armin did seriously want me.

Shaking my head to stop such optimistic thoughts from spreading too far, I grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and drank. Walking over to my bed, I slumped down on it, pulling up my phone to see if I had gotten any new messages. When I didn’t, I ended up scrolling down through my text message history, just for the sake of having anything to do. That’s when I saw an old text of Armin’s.

“ _There is a really nice bar called Gears near the industrial area. You should swing by when you get the chance_. _I’m sure there is someone there who is perfect for you_.”

 


End file.
